


The Archivist Sims

by RingingSilence



Category: Shia LaBeouf - Rob Cantor (Song), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Based on Episode 176: Blood Ties, Brief Mention of Martin, Canon-Typical The Hunt Content (The Magnus Archives), Eyepocalypse, Songfic, The Author Regrets Everything, possibly the crackiest thing I'll ever post, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RingingSilence/pseuds/RingingSilence
Summary: It's the end of the world.Your friends have turned on you and you're hiding in the brush.You hear a rustle and you spot him:The Archivist Sims.---Based on Shia LaBeouf Live! by Rob Cantor i.e. Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	The Archivist Sims

It's the end of the world.   
Your friends are hunting you and you're hiding in the brush.   
You hear a rustle and you spot him:  
The Archivist Sims.

He's wandering alone, scanning the forest  
Wide eyes filled with an unnatural light.  
He's looking for you,  
Archivist Sims.

You consider running but he's too close now  
Standing only a meter or two away.  
Even through the thicket, those terrible eyes find you  
My God, he can see everything!

_Everything you fear (sees the Archivist Sims)  
Feel him drawing near (it's the Archivist Sims)  
Humming full of static,  
Ceaseless Watcher's special boy, the Archivist Sims!_

_How you used to hunt, (says the Archivist Sims)  
Thoughts only for the blood (knows the Archivist Sims)  
But then you woke and faltered  
Newly-minted Prey, tells the Archivist Sims. _

The air has gone quiet: it seems you've escaped  
But he isn't the only threat lurking.  
Your friends are still out there.  
Carefully, you creep your way onward.

There! Up ahead!  
A break in the tree line,  
An escape! You run towards it  
But before you reach it, crack! You stepped on a branch!

_Swiftly you must hide (careful, careful)  
Back in the brush you slide (careful, careful)   
Back down the path you'd taken,  
Waiting for you is the Archivist Sims!_

_He's staring at you now (the Archivist Sims)  
He knows, you're not sure how (does the Archivist Sims)  
A traitor to the pack so...  
You run for your life from the Archivist Sims!_

_Dodging through the trees from the Archivist Sims  
Falling to your knees before the Archivist Sims  
You cower there in terror,  
Surely met your end by the Archivist Sims!_

When nothing happens you dare to look up,  
Expecting him to be looming over you  
But he is gone. You have escaped from  
The Archivist Sims.

_But wait! Surprise attack! (Return of the pack!)  
Your friends are all here, and you have what they lack!  
They smell your mortal terror._

_You try again to run from your friends.  
Dashing through the trees, though your blood to them sings,  
You smell them on the breeze, and how your nose stings,  
Full of death and anger, the hearts of these things._

_Before you make it far, they surround you!  
One friend is on your right, one's charging to your left  
Another's at your back, the last is up ahead.  
Then suddenly, there's static...  
"CEASELESS WATCHER, TURN YOUR GAZE UPON THIS PACK OF FERAL STRAYS!"_

And they're gone, erased in a blink.  
You see the Archivist walking away with a companion who waves and uncertainly, you wave back.  
You were just rescued by Jonathan Sims.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear gods above and below, what is this nonsense? I hope this entertains someone!
> 
> I don't know what surprises me more: that there's almost a dozen fics for the song, that three of them are podfics or that one is a crossover with Untitled Goose Game.


End file.
